Tuesday, June 21, 2005

oooh, meme-mia!

ok, it was only a question of time before this happened. degreecopy has been tagged. by anand alias magnus astrum. so here goes:

Three Names I Go By :
karthik venkat

Three Screen Names :
degreecopy( light)
degreecopy(super strong)
degreecopy(bru, yuck!)

Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself:
my wife thinks it's my smile, nose and dimples
she hastens to mention, "not always, only sometimes!"

Three Things You Don't Like About Yourself:
i sweat like it rains in cherrapunji
i tend to put on weight easily
slightly ocd-ish

Three Things That Scare Me :
to be sleepless on a sunday night. it just freaks me out!
sharing the road with autodrivers in chennai.
when the deadline arrives, and the ad hasn't!

Three Things I Want To Do Badly Right Now:
curse the man who invented tags ;-)
drink some water
read saville by david storey

Three Careers I Am Considering Right Now:
rip van winkle
sultan of brunei
no complaints about the one i already have

Three Places I Want To Go On A Vacation

Three Kiddy Names I Like :
you little BRAT!!

Three Things To Do Before I Die :
do some mindblowing campaigns
make money
travel the world with my wife
and oh yes, the most elusive, be happy.

Total Number Of Films I Own On Dvd/Video:

The last film I bought:
nope! never bought any.

The last film I watched:
hazaaron khwayishein aisi. watch it, it's fabulous!

Three Of Your Everyday Essentials:
my purse
my cellphone
my keys

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now
and an expression of relief

phew, glad i'm done!

Saturday, June 18, 2005

tigers demand non-bailable warrants

while the black bucks are mourning the death of one of their community, tigers across the country came together for an emergency chintan-bhaitak, at kaziranga, to discuss the implications of the arrest of one of their community.

it is certainly an interesting situation that the tigers find themselves in. while there was unanimous condemnation of the arrest of pataudi, many believe that a non-bailable arrest warrant is just what the doctor ordered. many tigers at the bhaitak are delighted to have lucked into what appears to be a perfect solution to the problem of the huge drop in tiger population. 'a non-bailable warrant will provide all tigers with adequate protection and nourishment. needless to mention, this will encourage more tigers to go the family way,' one of the tigers told degreecopy.

for a long time now, wildlife experts have feared tigers will go the parsee way, and marry outside the community. in the recent past, most tigers have shied away from holy matrimony, in the face of bleak prospects of roti, kapda and makaan. 'it is unfair to bring children into such a cruel world filled with humans. i'd rather die a bachelor,' one elderly tiger attending the bhaitak told degreecopy.

however now, with the arrest of pataudi, there seems to be light at the end of the dark forest: the bulbs of a jail to be precise. at the end of the two-day bhaitak at kaziranga, the tiger community came up with the following demands to the ministry for wildlife:
  • all tigers to receive unconditional non-bailable warrants
  • every cub's arrest warrant will be handed over to the parents at the time of birth, and must be submitted at the nearest jail for instant accommodation and f&b
  • a special panel of tigers will inspect jails annually to ensure humans can't enter the high security zone
  • taking a leaf out of the parsee community, a special prize will be given to every tiger family that has more than three cubs. prizes include having a local politician or poacher for dinner
  • a tie-up with kiran bedi, to carry out yoga and personality development courses, inside the jail
  • annual visit to native forest, to maintain links with the homeland. with z+ security, of course
these are just a few of the demands put up by the tigers. they are, however, waiting for pataudi's opinion from within jajjhar jail, on living conditions inside the jail. based on his report, the final list of demands and recommendations will be presented to the prime-minister, said a senior tiger to degreecopy.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

degreecopy in the hindu!

so here i am ...back after a much needed break at yercaud. while it felt very good to be in yercaud, it felt even better to read this! and, oh, please defffinitly make sure you read the last bit. the best has been reserved for the last!

Friday, June 10, 2005

yercaud, yere i come!

yippee, i'm off on a four-day break to yercaud. four days of doing nothing, but chilling out. will be back in chennai on wednesday. till then adios, people!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

laloo inclusion unconstitutional: barbie devi

laloo yadav is now available at a toystore near you! yes, you can now gift your little ones a laloo doll decked up in shri laloo-ji's trademark white pyjama kurta. laloo's entry into doll-dom has proved to be a super hit with kids, and the dolls are selling like hot cakes. while that is certainly good news for laloo-ji, the doll mazdoor zangh is displeased with the way events have played out. for the first time ever, smt. barbie devi, the unquestioned diva of dollywood spoke to degreecopy in an exclusive interview

degreecopy: barbie devi, were you surprised when sri laloo was launched into dollywood?
smt barbie devi: well, considering that the elections are to take place in bihar, one can expect netas to resort to gimmicks. but yes, i was taken aback with lalooji's decision to enter dollywood.

degreecopy: he did consult you on the move. why did you advise him against it?
smt. barbie devi: see, dollywood is not child's play. all of us....superman, gi joe, he-man, we've worked our way up dollywood. it is an industry full of professionals who have decades of success behind them. we've worked our way up the toy ladder. my personal opinion is that laloo's entry will politicise the doll world.

degreecopy: what took place at the emergency meeting at doll-bhawan?
smt.barbie devi: frankly, the mnc dolls were perturbed at the turn of events. they felt it will not be a level playing field once laloo steps in. there are fears in dollywood that laloo will soon move a motion to promote desi-dolls, and sideline the mncs. he might demand reservation and subsidies on membership to the dollhousie (the exclusive doll resort).

degreecopy: but he has proved to be a hit with the kids...
smt.barbie devi: arre, what is so great about it? it's the initial hype. kids like anything new. let us wait... lets see the situation a few months down the line. besides, he has always been a hit with you media fellows. you put him on the front page and on tv. he has bribed dukaanwaalas to put him on the main shelf in their store. to give him maximum coverage. but i am confident that merit will triumph.

degreecopy: some would say dollywood has over-reacted to laloo's success...
smt. barbie devi: obviously, we are under pressure to do something about it. we owe it to our owners. gi joe will soon get a desi makeover from one of india's top fashion designers. superman will for the first time carry a lathi on his journey... so yeah, everyone is dealing with it in their own manner.

degreecopy: you were not in favour of his medical reimbursement package....
smt. barbie devi: that's utter nonsense. i will never indulge in such infantile acts. in fact, i demanded that every member of dollywood have equal rights to plastic surgery, liposuction and every other medication necessary to deal with abuse from children. dollywood is a tough industry after all.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

battle of by-2

"reliance empire goes by-2 over coffee!"

in what is clearly a startling development, india's biggest industrial empire may disintegrate over a strong dose of coffee. reliable sources have informed degreecopy that it all started when mukki and ani dropped into a darshini for a refreshing dose of strong, filter coffee. the health conscious ani, worried about his latest caffeine levels, suggested splitting a cup of coffee, and ordered a by-2 coffee.

mukki welcomed his brother's decision, with the intention of cutting costs. trouble erupted when the waiter showed up with two steel tumblers of strong by-2 coffees. reliable sources say ani was clearly dissatisfied with his share of by-2 coffee, and was quick to point out the discrepancy in the division of the coffee.

startled by his brother's complaint, mukki rebuked his brother for wanting a caffeine overdose on the eve of the mumbadevi mahadaud, where the younger brother was set to run with his dogs and z+ security. to which ani responded that it was a question of conscience and not caffeine. property has to be split equally, considering that the cost of rs.7 would be split equally, as well.

both brothers were quick to realise that it was a 'houston-we-have-a-problem' situation. the cousins, lawyers, accoutants and pr puppies were asked to take the next low-cost-carrier flight to bangalore to handle the unprecedented crisis in the empire's over-three-decade history. even as events were unfolding at the darshini, the stockmarket was feeling the withdrawal symptoms of the caffeine crisis.

a thorough enquiry was conducted by well-wisher kamath, ceo, i-see-oh-i-see bank. over countless hours, he personally interrogated shyamanna, the coffee-man believed to have poured the coffee into the two cups. however, altaf, the waiter, who brought the controversial by-2 coffees to the brothers, has absconded. chemical engineers from the company's petrochemicals division have been flown in to assess the exact percentage of caffeine and milk present in the two cups. the mother of the two brothers is also rushing down to the silicon city in her personal luxury bus (read previous post for details) with family guru, swami tel-ananda.

while it appears that it will still be quite some time before the by-2 caffeine crisis is amicable settled, the darshini seems to be enjoying its new found publicity, with travel agents quickly cashing on the latest must-see joint. even as sound bites are being bandied about by pr executives from both sides, research organisation, imrb, provided degreecopy with the startling results of their latest survey. consumption of by-2 coffee by some of india's most well-known corporate families has dropped drastically, with a ban on family members ordering by-2 coffee at any restaurant, worldwide. clearly, a case of once by-2ed, twice shy.

the copy drinkers